The twenty-third day of Hot Roxmas

The 23rd day of Hot Roxmas is also the first and only day of Festivus, so now it's time for the airing of grievances. "I got a lot of problems with you people!" Not with "you people", but with some other people. People who write and record Long Christmas Songs. There is No Reason why a Christmas single should be five minutes or more. If your Christmas single is getting too long, it's time to cut a few verses. Here are some of the main offenders.


1. The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping (5:31)
2. Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas (4:31)
3. Wham! - Last Christmas (4:37)
4. Wizzard - I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday (4:50)

I've considered all these songs (well, some of them) for my holiday mixes over the years, but haven't included any of them. Because they are too long. When you want to cram 25-30 songs on an 80 minute CDR, the five minute songs are always the ones that don't make it.

There's a blog dedicated to documenting all the known versions of "Last Christmas". They have 314 versions, or 22 hours, 14 minutes, and 36 seconds worth of "Last Christmas". Almost enough for "24 Hours of 'Last Christmas'" with no duplicates.

What I do like is Christmas parodies. Especially lounge parodies of metal and grunge songs. That's perpetually funny! Like Wonderful World Of Joey's "What Sweet Child Of Mine Is This?" Greensleeves meets GnR. This came out nearly ten years ago (same year as the Seinfeld "Festivus" episode), and will remain novel and timely until Chinese Democracy is released. Possibly the greatest Christmas parody ever (besides "Xmas Rhapsody"), and it's less than four minutes long.

Wonderful World Of Joey - What Sweet Child Of Mine Is This?